Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmas Retail Mystery #2



THE FACINATION OF THE SENSOR ALARM

Imagine the most annonying sound you have ever heard- a loud EH EH EH sound that stops your blood in your veins and makes your head instantly feel like there is a man jack hammering in your ear drums. That is the sound that goes off at the store when a sensor is not removed from garment that passes through the door. It is supposed to be a theft deterrant, but really, I think it's sole purpose is just to make me insane. Now the sensor alarms are magnet activated, so many things can set them off- cell phones, digital cameras, sensors not removed from other retailers, strollers- you name it. Now, maybe I am de-sensitized from working in retail so long, but when I walk out of a store and set off the alarm- I know I am not stealing, so I just keep on walking. Unfortunately, the rest of society does not do this, and they are absolutely stunned, dumbfound, and FACINATED, with the reason behind the alarm going off. People will walk in the store and the awful EHEHEHEH alarm will go off. Instead of ignoring it and continuing to shop, or going to an associate to ask for help in solving the alarm mystery they will stand there a second- then turn around and walk out to see if it will go off again. EHEHEHEHE- of course it goes off when they go out as well as in. Then EHEHEHEHE they come back trying to see if it will continue doing this. This is the point I start to get annoyed. Not only is the sound horrible, but we have customer counters on the doors. You might not know this, but most shops are judged on something called conversion- which is the amount of people who buy vs. the amount of people who come in your store. The more you walk in out in out the more you are HURTHING our results- thus, my raise!
After several in out in out in out EHEHEHEHE- this is the point when people will then hand someone else their shopping bags and ask them to walk through to see if it is the bags, and then walk through again themselves- EHEHEHEHE. "Maybe it's this bag" "or maybe it's this bag" "maybe it's my purse" "I don't just don't understand why it keeps going off" EHEHEHEHEHE all the time as they walk in and out in and out in and out in and out- thinking that magically it will stop if they keep doing it. Now all this time every customer in the store has stoped to stare. Every employee is derperately running to try to get them to stop- because we can usually figure it out and get it fixed if they will just stop walking in and out in and out EHEHEHEHEHE!!!! Why? Why do people do this? Are you trying to prove you didn't steal? Do you like the noise and all the attention? Are you trying to send us all to a horrible sensor alarm filled hell??? My message to you- STOP IT!!! If the alarm goes off- ignore it or go right to an associate and get them to help you, or for the love of God STAND STILL!!! If it does it once it will do it the first, second, thrid, TENTH time! Stop the in out in out in out EHEHEHEHEHE!!!!! Please make the mall a better place for us all!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that you are in the wonderful Christmas spirit. I'm sure your customers are happy to come into your store and see you standing there smiling and waiting to help them. It's OK to you that they set off the alarm coming into your store. It's Christmas time after all! They ask for way too many boxes, yet you still smile and happily oblige because it's Christmas! The most wonderful time of the year. When they leave the store piled down with boxes, they go in and out of the store setting off the alarm again and again and yet for some reason, you are unfazed. I'm so happy that retail has you to show them how Christmas is done!! :o)

Nancy B said...

That's right! I have not snapped on a single person yet! I save all my annoyance for the blog. I know you are all so happy that I do that!

Hoban Family said...

I laughed for a good 4 minutes. Great post Nancy!

Anonymous said...

You might back off on the Starbucks. It could be the caffeine.

I still love you.
Dad

PS I got you a ticket right across the isle from us for the rodeo!!

Anonymous said...

Can hardly wait to see what "Christmas Retail Mystery #3" is going to be.

As for #2, in our store we are instructed that when the alarm goes off, we are not to make the customer feel "uncomfortable". Say what?!!! Heaven forbid that a shoplifter would feel "uncomfortable".

As for the boxes, could you bring some home with you when you come in January?

Anonymous said...

Sorry that the comment I just posted came up "anonymous". That was the only way I could get it to work. Mom